A Serious Conversation
by Mr Waffle
Summary: In an ultimate dimension, the Jojo’s are having a serious dicusssion... who’s the Strongest? (Humor/fluff, not to be take seriously.)


Within Coco Jumbo's pocket dimension sat 8 figures, all bore a star birthmark on their shoulders, and all bore the name 'Jojo.' And they were currently in the midst of a serious debate.

Joseph Joestar leaned back in his chair and gave a cocky grin, "I'm just saying that I defeated the ultimate life form that could've enslaved all of humanity, I doubt any of your accomplishments could match that."

Jolyne Cujoh spat, "You won that off dumb luck."

Joseph stuck out his tongue, "Atleast I won _at all._"

"You bastard!" Jolyne slammed the conference table, "Take that back or I'll-"

"Hey, Hey!" Josuke Higashikata yelled, "Calm down, we don't need to beat the crap out of eachother over something this unimportant."

"The kids right," Jotaro Kujo said gruffly, "Especially when none of you can match Star Platinum and It's success." He pulled out a cigarette.

Josuke facepalmed, "Not what I meant, Jotaro. And hey!" He ripped the cigarette out of his fellow teenager's mouth, "no smoking! This is an enclosed area!

Jotaro growled, "Shut it, Elvis."

Josuke's face went expressionless, "What the hell..." His eyes flashed violently, "DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY HAIR?!? SHINING DIAMOND!-"

Two strong hands gripped Josuke's shoulders before he could attack Jotaro, and the pompadour turned his head to see his great-grandfather, Jonathan Joestar, staring around him with gentle, but stern rebuke in his eyes.

The ancestor of the Joestar line smiled at his descendent, "Now, what were we saying about keeping calm? Turning the other cheek is a hallmark of true gentlemen."

Josuke's shoulders strangely relaxed in the presence of his fellow bluenette, "Alright..." he said, but glared daggers at the- now smoking, Jotaro.

"I'd like to think my stand is pretty impressive." Johnny Joestar said, "I can reach the boundaries of infinity."

Across the room, Giorno Giovanna gave a cocky grin, "Even infinity can be set back to zero." He shot back.

Johnny glared from his wheelchair, "Infinity isn't a number, it's a concept, it can't be set back to zero."

Two hands slammed the conference table, and everyone fixated their attention on who did it, it was the _other _Josuke Higashikata.

"Listen, I think it's in all of our best interests if we go around the table, talk about our abilities, call a winner, and move on. I have more important things to be doing." The sailor said.

Everyone blinked.

Sailor-Josuke raised an eyebrow, "Did I say something wrong...?"

"Nope, actually I second the motion," Pampadour-Josuke said, raising his hand in affirmation, "we've just never heard you... talk that much."

"Huh." Sailor-Josuke put a hand to his chin, "I guess it's because I haven't really fought anyone in the same level that you've all described... so I've kept to myself during power discussions."

Jolyne raised her hand, "I third the motion, I want this to hurry up. But I have a question, what do we call the Josuke's?"

Everyone blinked again.

"Come to think of it, it is quite odd we haven't thought a way of differentiating the two." Jonathan said.

Giorno furrowed his eyebrows, "Isn't the same confusion also levied at you and the other Jonathan in the room, Mr. Joestar?"

Johnny shrugged, "Not really, I always went by Johnny, and he goes by Johnathan."

"I think we should call the pampadour one Elvis." Joseph said.

Jonathan had to restrain a raging Josuke oncemore, "THE HELL MAN, IM YOUR GODDAMN SON!" He shouted in anger.

Joseph shrugged, "Missed opportunity... I'll have to remind myself about that when you happen in my timeline..."

Sailor-Josuke raised his hand, "I might have a solution."

"Here's some water," Jonathan said to the pampadour-teen, who gladly began to drink it.

"I have a couple of other names I go by," Sailor Josuke continued, "Gappy, Yoshikage Kira..."

Josuke spat out his water.

"And Josefumii Kujo."

"Y-yeah, use that last one, p-please." Josuke weakly stanmered.

Jolyne clapped her hands together, "Yare yare... now that that's out of the way, let's go around the table and talk about our abilities, Josefumii, you start."

He nodded, "Well, I'm not too sure of my memories, but my stand is Soft Wet, it's a close-range power stand with the ability to create bubbles-"

Joseph raised an eyebrow.

"-that steal properties from people and objects, for instance, I can steal people's eyesight, hearing, friction..."

Jonathan was in awe, "Fascinating, these Stands of yours. Could you explain what happens after you steal friction?"

Josefumii nodded, "The person affected will slip and slide all over the place, I used it to turn my adoptive-brother Joshu into a bowling ball-" Josefumii stopped himself, "Anyways, the bubbles also do normal bubble things, like putting out fires."

"Pretty odd stand power for a close-range combat stand." Jotaro commented.

Josuke, having regained his mental and physical composure, nodded, "Not the weirdest I've seen, anyways, how about Johnny next?"

The cripple nodded, "My stand is Tusk, it allows me to spin my nails so that I can use them like bullets, it has 4 acts... the last act can only be accessed if I use the Golden Rotation..."

Giorno quirked an eyebrow, "Golden Rotation...?"

Johnny smiled, "It's part of a technique called 'spin', I learned it from a friend of mine. I can only use the Golden Rotation when I'm riding my horse."

"Why?"

Johnny shook his head, "The secrets of the Zeppeli family stay with me."

Jonathan and Joseph's eyes widened, "The Zeppeli's?!?" They exclaimed simultaneously.

Johnny nodded hesitantly, "A Zeppeli taught me it."

"William Zeppeli was my Hamon instructor, perhaps the two techniques are related?" Jonathan queried aloud.

Joseph nodded vigorously, "Yeah! And Caesar was my fellow Hamon fighter!"

Johnny's eyes widened, "C... Caesar..." he mumbled. But he regained composure, "Anyways, once I hit someone with Tusk Act 4, every atom in their body will spin infinitely, no matter what you do, it can even go through other dimensions, or stopped time."

Jotaro's eyes shot open.

"In fact, I used it to kill the President of the United States..." Johnny said casually.

Jolyne's fists pumped into the air, "Hell yeah!"

"President Funny Valentine..."

Jolynes excitement turned into confusion, "Who...?"

Josuke deadpanned, "I'm a bit worried about which US President you wanted dead, Jolyne."

The girl glared at her uncle, before returning her gaze to Johnny, "So, what was the president's Stand Power?"

"Inter-dimensional travel and the ability to replace himself and move objects between universes... oh, and invulnerability by tearing into the fabric of reality itself." Johnny answered.

The room went dead quiet.

"That's... terrifying." Josuke finally said.

His sailor counterpart nodded, "It would take a lot to top that."

Jolyne leaned back in her chair, and crossed her arms with a huff, "My turn now, I guess. My Stand is Stone Free, I can turn my body into string-"

Joseph's eyes flashed, "So it's like Hermit Purple!"

She glared at her great-grandfather, "No, it's way better than that sorry excuse of a Stand. I can turn myself into a Mobius Strip for a infinite amount of string, open holes in my body to dodge things, the possibilities are endless."

The whole room nodded, while it sounded quite a bit weaker than the previous stands, they could see the uses.

"And who did you fight?" Giorno asked.

Jolyne snarled, "A priest named Enrico Pucci, had 3 stupid different stands, the first one was White Snake, it could turn people's memories and Stands into disks and then take them a put them into someone, or something else. The second was C-Moon, it controlled gravity, and the third was Made-In-Heaven." She looked over to Jotaro, "It kicked your ass."

The Japanese punk glared, "What was its ability?"

"Accelerating time itself, eventually accelerating time to the point the universe reset and we all died."

The whole room went silent again.

Josuke was the first to snap out of it, "W-Wait, you all _died_?!?" He yelled.

Jolyne nodded, "Everyone in that world died and was reincarnated into the next, I only knew we won in the end thanks to Emporio managing to evade the ability by hiding in his Stand until he killed Pucci."

"So, you didn't beat your villain?" Jotaro said.

"You died first." She replied snarkily.

Jotaro lowered his hat over his eyes, "Yare yare... I bet I died saving your ass..."

Jolyne choked.

"I'll go next," Giorno said, "My Stand has two forms, Golden Experiance, and Golden Experiance Requiem, Golden Experiance turns inanimate objects into living creatures, and can also make parts of living creatures to replace lost limbs or body parts."

"Huh," Josuke said, "That's kinda similar to my Stand..."

"G.E.R, however, sets the actions of a person back to zero, meaning it can basically rewind all of of your choices, and put you in an infinite death loop." He looked Jotaro, "It's automatic and functions within warped time."

"Yare yare daze..." Jotaro muttered.

The rest of the room was noticeably freaked out by his power.

"A-and your opponent?" Josuke asked.

"Diavolo, and his stand, King Crimson, which deleted time within a spawn of ten seconds, where he could freely move around, see our actions within those ten seconds. Position himself, and then kill us once the time was up, and we would forget all actions that happened within those ten seconds. I put him in an infinite death loop after he tried to delete time."

The room went deadly quiet again.

"Tusk could beat you, you can't reset infinity." Johnny said stubbornly.

"Even infinity has a beginning that it can be set back to." Giorno countered.

"Inifinite outcome equals infinite cause." Johnny shot back.

"A-Anyways." Josuke said shakily, "I'll go next. My Stand is Shining Diamond, Close range power that's stronger than Star Platinum-"

"Yare yare-"

"-and just as fast. It's ability is to restore things to any previous state it's been in. Or... I can restore things incorrectly, and permanently screw someone's face, for example."

"Huh," Josefumii frowned, "Sounds strong, who did you fight?"

Josuke scratched the back of his head, "Funny you should ask... a guy named Yoshikage Kira, and his stand Killer Queen."

Josefumii's eyes widened.

"He could touch anything and turn it into a bomb, send out a remote heat-seeking bomb that not even Star Platinum could destroy-"

"I'm getting sick of this..." Jotaro muttered.

"And his third ability, Bites the Dust... basically, he switched his face, went into hiding, anyone who found out about his identity was instantly blown up and time reset back to the date he activated Bites the Dust. Oh, and later he kidnapped a Stray Cat and stored it in his stand so it would fire pressurized air bullets that he would turn into bombs at people."

Josefumii's confused glare burned into the table.

"Did you win?" Jotaro asked.

Josuke smiled, "Yep, with a bit of a helping hand from my friends."

"Finally! My turn." Jotaro sighed, "My Stand, as everyone already knows, is Star Platinum. It punches faster and stronger-" he glared pointedly at Josuke, "-than any other stand, and it stops time."

Johnny's jaw dropped, "Wha-"

"My opponent was the Vampire, DIO. His stand was The World, which also stopped time, but for longer than I cou-"

"You fought The World too?!?" Johnny exclaimed.

"You fought Dio...? But I thought I... I..." Jonathan looked shocked.

"Yes and Yes. I fought DIO and The World, and killed them both, permanently." Jotaro finished, and he looked at Johnny, "How did your fight with The World go?"

Johnny's expression soured, "I hit him with Tusk Act 4 during stopped time..."

"Does everything move in stopped time nowadays?" Jotaro asked in exasperation.

"But he cut off his leg before the spin spread to the res rod his body, and hit me the with leg in stopped time..." Johnny growled, "He defeated me with my own ability..."

"Huh, so that's how that feels." Jotaro commented duly.

Joseph clapped his hands, "Finally! You're all done," he whined in mock-exhasperstion, "I was getting so dreadfully bored, anyways, I don't have a Stand- well, Jotaro says I get one later, but I digress, I use Hamon. It's sunlight energy that's super-effective against vampires, Zombies, Aztec Stripper-deities... you catch my drift."

"What was that last one?" Jolyne asked.

Joseph ignored her, "It conducts with water and oil very well, so I've figured out a lot of uses for it. I used it to kill the ultimate lifeform, Kars the Pillar-Man, by sending him flying into space based on my pure talent and skill."

Everyone narrowed their eyes in suspicion.

"What did this 'Kars' do?" Josefumii asked.

Joseph winked, "He could alter himself into any lifeform he wanted, create any lifeform he wanted, create and control new lifeforms on the spot, and was basically a god upon earth that regenerated from all attacks, Space was truly the only thing that could've killed him, and even then he's still alive, though I bet he's stopped thinking by now, hopefully."

"Well, I believe that was everyone." Josefumii said, "I vote that Johnny is the strongest."

"I second that motion." Johnny said.

"Nuh-Uh, Giorno is terrifying, gives me the willys." Josuke responded.

"I still believe G.E.R beats your Tusk Act 4." Giorno challenged.

"And where were you when that Priest asshole was resetting the universe?" Jolyne quipped.

"No idea, it hasn't happened to me yet." Giorno said.

"I vote for myself, duh." Joseph gave a cocky grin.

"Star Platinum can beat any of you." Jotaro grunted.

Jolyne glared at her father, "Atleast Giorno has a chance of beating that Priest, I vote Giorno."

Jonathan put a hand to his chin, "Well... let's see, you all have such extraordinary abilities..."

"Wait a second..." Josuke said, "We never heard about your abilities, Jonathan, tell us."

The Joestar smiled, "I'm afraid they're not much compared to any of your powers... but if you insist. I use Hamon, which Joseph failed to mention can also heal things, cause plants to bloom, it's life energy. My opponent was Dio Brando, a vampire who could freeze humans bodies completely, shoot lasers from his eyes and regenerate from nearly every injury..." He stated at the floor, "and who I thought died along with me on a ship, but as Jotaro seemed to attest, I seem to have... failed." He said softly, his voice almost a whisper.

The room went silent, nobody could bring themselves to say anything to the gentle giant.

Yet surprisingly, it was Jotaro who broke the silence.

"Hey gramps, don't beat yourself up for that." He said calmly, "If it hadn't been for your sacrifice, we wouldn't have had 100 DIO-less years for us Joestars to live our lives."

"Yeah!" Joseph chimed, "And granny Erina, my dad _and _Lisa Lisa would've died if it hadn't been for you!"

Giorno smiled, "And if things hadn't happened the way they did, none of us would exist."

Jolyne smiled, "Hey, you're not the only one who never beat their opponent, the important thing is you got them eventually, right?"

"And I'd never have gotten these great hair genes if it hadn't been for you, Gramps!" Josuke smiled.

"I lost my brother, Danny, a long time ago... and it was my fault." Johnny chipped in, "Don't cause yourself grief by blaming yourself, forgive yourself and move on."

"Mr. Joestar, for the brief time I've known you, you've been nothing but kind and hospitable, I have nothing but respect and admiration for you." Josefummi said sincerely.

Jonathan smiled, "Thank you, thank you all. Truly, you've been so kind... as for my vote." He looked at Josuke, "The ability to restore anything, not just destroy or replace, that's what I would consider to be the strongest ability."

Josuke flushed with embarrassment, and scratched the back of his head. "Aw, thanks gramps. But I think the votes point to a clear winner. Giorno Giovanni is the strongest among us."

Jonathan nodded with a smile, Jospeh shrugged, Jotaro leaned back in his chair, Josuke smiled, Giorno smiled and nodded in thanks, Jolyne sat up and stretched with a yawn, Johnny rolled his eyes, and Josefummi simply nodded, and sat up to leave.

"If this buisness is over, I call this meeting of Jojo's adjourned." He said.

And with that, they all exited the Turtle's Stand room, and went back to their regular lives.


End file.
